What should I add/remove to/from my dating site profile?

There is intense competition for attention on online dating sites. This can be gleaned in the weight and importance given by online dating experts and advisers on dating profiles.

There are numerous articles on the web giving tips and advices on how to make a great online dating profile to increase the chances of responses and consequently finding the ideal online partner. Recommendations range from the usual generalities of honesty, creativity, and simplicity to tips on supercharging your photos. Specific suggestions on profile contents, however, are quite limited.

There are millions of people who join online dating sites and only a small percentage can express themselves effectively given the virtual limitations of the internet in particular and of written communication in general. Taking into consideration all the good-meaning advices on how to create a great online dating profile, what are the specific contents that should be added to or removed from one? An online dating profile should always have that unique, catchy and funny headline.

Dating, whether online or offline is basically selling yourself to other people; online dating profile, therefore, should be your marketing pitch. And just like those advertisement one-liners that successfully lodge themselves in our consciousness, your online dating profile should include an attention-grabbing headline that would make people interested enough to keep on reading about you and hopefully want to get to know you more. Instead of saying that you are “funny and have a great sense of humour” in exactly those words, write a catchy headline that shows you ARE funny and have a great sense of humour.

Dating Profile Headlines

Here are some examples of catchy and humorous headlines -- “Willing to lie about how we met!”, “Blondes have more fun but brunettes nag less often,” “Well preserved but not yet pickled” or “Some will, some won’t. Some do, some don’t. I might!” These headlines are definitely more attention-grabbing than “single male seeking single female”, “let’s get together”, “try me”, or “nice girl seeking nice boy” which belong more to those tiny boxed ads in the newspaper classifieds.

Although an online dating profile should not be a shortened version of your curriculum vitae since you’re looking for a date and not seeking employment, particulars about yourself should be included. Things which would help your prospective dates get a clearer picture of who you are without inviting security-risks on your part. Not offering information apart from your age or gender could add a touch of mystery, but it might also be a deterrent. If you are a divorcee with children, it is one fact that should be important enough to be mentioned in your profile.

Of course you don't have to reveal where you currently live if you don't want to, but mentioning the places you have lived in or at least visited would add another facet to your profile. You would widen the list of people who would get interested in you as you establish possible connections and similarities with them.

You need not write your whole career history and life’s plans but you could give at least an idea of what your profession (if any) is or has been. If you usually tell people you meet in a bar or at a party what it is that you do, then include it in your profile. Remember to be brief and not blabber on about the details.

Profiles & Personalities

Since dating and the possibility of relationships are the main objectives of online dating, communication plays a major key. The inclusion of the languages you speak should be included so any language barrier could be avoided and you establish a wider net of possible compatibilities.

Aside from mentioning the things that you like, you should also list some of your pet peeves. Mentioning pet peeves or the things that you don’t like should be stated in a less negative way. Avoid such phrases as “I definitely hate” or “I’m annoyed with...” Only include those that are of significance to you and not list things that would make you sound like a whiner.

Online dating profiles are both a sales pitch and a wanted ad rolled into one. It is equally important to mention the qualities you are looking for in an online date. The most important thing to keep in mind is to include age, appearance, communication and other response filters. If you are looking for people within a certain age bracket, possessing certain physical attributes and communication styles, you should say so. This way, you convey that you are the type of person who knows what he or she wants. Of course, do this in a non-offending manner.

As for using a screen name, try to come up with one that is equally remarkable and fascinating as your headline. If you couldn’t find something uniquely appealing, use your initials as a safe bet.

What should not be included in an online dating profile, then? For one, remove any sexual innuendos in your profile. It is a big turn off for many online dating site users. Sexual innuendos would only cheapen your whole profile. They are best left unsaid.

Do away with unimportant details like your favourite ice cream flavour, your favourite colour, or other trivial information. You are writing an online dating profile not answering a series of questions in a magazine for fourteen year olds.

Photo Personals

Lastly, take that lewd photo away. If you are to upload a photo of yourself (and not someone else’s), choose a decent one that is both pleasing and appealing. You might be surprised to learn that most people find vulgarity and lewdness to be unattractive.

In creating your online dating profile with the above points in mind, always do so in a positive, upbeat and constructive tone. The bottom line is, you should create a profile that describes you as you really are and not a made-up ideal person. Make yourself sound interesting without inventing and embellishing. After all, you would not want to be conned yourself, would you?

How I Met My Husband On An Online Dating Site

"When some of my friend urged me to sign up for an online dating site, I was very sceptical. How in the world could a website find my life partner for me? Now, I'm so glad that I took my friend's advice. I have been married to the man of my dreams for the past 3 years and would have never found him otherwise.

I logged on to the site; it was free and totally easy to set up my profile. After answering a few questions and adding some pictures, I was ready to go. A couple of weeks went by and I hadn't had anything going on. Then, one day it happened. I logged on and had a message. I read it and at first I really didn't know how to react. This man had read my dating profile and found that we had a lot in common. Still, how could he know anything about me just from reading my answers to a few basic questions? After taking a day to think it over, I responded to his message. I thought why not, what did I have to lose? After all, we were only communicating through the site and he didn't have any personal information like my address or phone number. He responded quickly.

We communicated through the website for almost two months and I had learned enough about this man that I was starting to think about meeting him. My friends told me to slow down and maybe exchange phone numbers. I agreed that was probably the best route to go, so I sent a message. He was just as excited as I was and responded with his number. I was hesitant, but I called. He had a very nice voice and we talked for what felt like hours. We had talked so much through our messages that our conversation felt so natural. It was almost like we had been talking this way forever and was already old friends, or future lovers. He explained that he didn't want to rush me, so we would go at my pace, but he would really like to meet. I said I would have to think it over.

We talked on the phone a few more times, and I decided that it was time that we met. I gave it some serious thought, because I didn't want to put myself in a potentially dangerous situation. My phone number was a cell, so he had no address and I decided that I wanted to keep it that way. I didn't want to sound like I thought he was some sort of freak, so I decided that meeting in a public place would be the best. I called him to make the arrangements. We planned to meet at a restaurant down-town. After we hung up from that conversation, I got really nervous. After all, we did have a lot in common, but what if he was just saying what he thought I wanted to hear? I wanted to meet him because I felt so comfortable with him, even just over the phone, but I wanted to be careful at the same time. I didn't want to give up to much personal information.

Friday quickly rolled around, and I had thought about calling and cancelling several times. I decided to throw caution to the wind and go ahead and meet him. Besides, we were meeting in a very public place, and I was taking my own car. So, if things didn't work out, I could just leave and quit talking to him. It couldn't be that bad, could it? I got dressed; of course I debated about that for hours. I didn't want to come across as easy or anything. So, I got dressed and left for the restaurant.

Once I got there and we met, it seemed like all the pieces feel into place. Our conversation was easy and relaxed. We already knew so much about each other that it only felt natural for us to be together. He turned out to be extremely handsome. Well, he was perfect, exactly what I had been looking for my entire life. We were married the next summer and have our first baby on the way. I have only the dating site to thank for helping me find the man of my dreams and giving me the family I had always dreamed of having."

Submitted by Annette, October 2009

The Twelve Golden Rules Of Online Dating

Whether you’re looking for marriage, romance, a casual encounter, or just new friends online dating has proved itself to be a successful method of bringing people together. With the number of sites now in the thousands the choice can seem bewildering and this is why Love Services concentrates on niche sites that provide a common starting point for its members rather than a large pool of people with whom the member may not have a lot (if anything) in common.

Whichever site you join you can benefit from these ten golden rules which when followed fully will multiply your chances of success by several factors.

1. When you first sign up and start building your profile you’ll probably have to tick a few boxes and then type in some text in answer to several questions. Type this out in your word processor first, run a spellchecker over it, proof read it, and make sure you are satisfied with the result. Save a copy on your computer so that you can use it again if you join more than one site.

2. Put some thought into what you want to say about yourself. Don’t just mention your interests; add some detail about what you’re looking for. Men can be particularly reticent and if you are a man try to avoid including overtly sexual references. Women on the other hand tend to write better descriptions of themselves so perhaps all they need to do is to hint at delights to come!

3. As you describe yourself keep to the positive and highlight your best features. Don’t dwell on what you perceive are your weaknesses or faults. Don’t just write one or two lines; no one is going to be interested in that. Anyone seeing something brief and vague is going to assume that you’re not really serious or interested in getting a date and they’ll move on.

4. Upload at least three photos. This is very important so I’ll say it again: UPLOAD AT LEAST THREE PHOTOS. If you can’t upload or don’t know how then make use of the alternatives i.e. email your pictures in as attachments or put them in the post. People will allow go for profiles with photos over those without so if you haven’t added photos to your profile you’re already off to a poor start.

5. Ask a friend or colleague to take a good selection of pictures of you with a digital camera. Try to include some head and shoulders shots as well as full length. Avoid including shots of yourself when drunk, asleep or any other way not at your best; it rarely makes a good impression. Don’t use photos in which you have cut out your ex-partner. Get someone to take a new picture.

6. If someone contacts you, think before replying. Make a good first impression but don’t get carried away. Read the other person’s profile before responding and pick out something that interests you. Avoid using BLOCK CAPITALS.

7. Do respond, even if you’re not interested. This person has taken the trouble to contact you so even if having viewed their profile you are not interested then at least let them down gently. A gentle let down is far preferable to being ignored.

8. If the site contains a Forum then participate in the discussions. People will gradually get to know you by your responses and comments and it’s a good way of making yourself stand out from the crowd.

9. Upgrade your membership i.e. become a fully participating member by taking out a subscription. It’s the only way you will ever be able to initiate contact and it will give you access to all the site’s functions. I know it means parting with hard earned cash but you’ll be paying the equivalent of a few drinks each month for access to a site that could change your life for the better in all kinds of ways.

10. Make sure you’re full aware of all the site’s functions, tricks, and statistics. Use the ‘Saved Searches’ function to keep you up to date with new members who match your criteria. There’s a lot of information to be had if you look for it. Also, read the dating tips and advice and learn from the experience of others.

11. Need help? Stuck? Check the Help and/or FAQ sections on the site. They are so named for very good reasons. FAQ stands for Frequently Asked Questions and the problem you are encountering has probably been dealt with before so check before asking for help. If the answer is not there ASK. That’s what the site administrators are there for – to give you support as well as deal with the technical side.

12. Lastly, when you have enjoyed some success on the site tell the administrators about it. Tell them how it worked, what you think of the site, how happy you are, and what your plans are. You’ll not only feel good about doing so but you’ll be shining some light on the road for those that follow behind you.

Your dream date or new friends could be online today looking for you, so start your search and follow these rules to be assured of a strong chance of success. It might take a few hours or it might take a few months so be persistent.

Many people who have joined one of the Love Services sites have remained members even though they have found a new partner simply because they enjoy the friendships they have also found there.

How to increase your chances of success with online dating

Searching for a new partner online is a well-worn path and you can benefit from the experience of those who have followed this road before you.

One can divide online daters into two types; the reactive and the proactive. Reactive daters tend to build a profile and then sit back and wait for someone to contact them. The chances of success using this method vary according to the interest generated by their profiles and that interest depends on how well the profile is constructed and what photos are included. Profiles that are lacking in detail and contain no photos attract little attention while those that clearly belong to someone who is sincere in their search and contain a selection of photos can attract the attention of other members.

Proactive daters will not only build a profile but also actively seeking out new partners by contacting new members directly, participating in chat rooms, and posting new topics and replies in forums. Proactive daters are by far the most successful of the two types. By taking the first step of contacting other members directly they are often rewarded by the discovery of a new friend. They are not put off by the fact that sometimes people fail to respond and they are persistent and patient in their search for partners. Proactive daters develop and online presence by participating in chats and forum discussions. This can attract the attention of other members since people are drawn to those who have something to say and who sound interesting.

Imagine this analogy; there's a large party for singles and everyone who has come to this party is looking for something. They're looking for romance, flirtation, a casual partner, a new penpal, marriage, or just someone who shares their interests and passions. Some of the party goers have arrived in their oldest clothes and sit facing the wall (bland profile, no photos) while others have put on their best outfits and are smiling and talking to everyone (interesting profile, photos, and proactive attitude). Who do you suppose is going to be more successful?

Passive Membership (non-subscribers)

Basic Profile, no photos, no subscription
Chances of success - poor
No subscription means that as a passive member you can only hope that someone contacts you, but what is there on such a brief profile that will attract contact from another member when there are so many more to browse and choose from?

Detailed profile, no photos, no subscription
Chances of success - poor to moderate
With a more detailed profile which perhaps has more to catch the eye of someone browsing but again the chances are low and you can't initiate contact.

Basic profile, photo(s), no subscription
Chances of success - moderate
The simple act of adding a photo has increased your chances of success by a factor ten. Even though your profile is light on detail perhaps your photo will be enough to attract contact from a subscriber.

Detailed profile, photo(s), no subscription
Chances of success - moderate to good
A full and detailed photo coupled with at least one photo is ideal. You've got the best chance of attracting contact from a subscriber, but you can't be proactive in your search, and a few photos would be better.

Full Membership (subscribers)

Basic profile, no photos, subscription
Chances of success - moderate to good
Your subscription allows you full functionality on the site so you can contact whomever you wish, but will they respond if they can't read much about your or view a photo of you?

Detailed profile, no photos, subscription
Chances of success - good to very good
You've increased your chances of a response by being more explicit in your profile but again, a photo would give your intended contacts more cause to respond.

Basic profile, photo(s), subscription
Chances of success - very good
Now you're talking! Full membership, and at least one photo. People you contact can now see you as can other subscribers who might contact you first.

Detailed profile, photo(s), subscription
Chances of success - THE BEST!
You're firing on all cylinders! Giving your potential pals something to interesting read and to look at is the best way of generating contact and response. The fact that you've gone to such efforts shows that you are serious about your search for new friends and partnerships. Not only have you made the best use of the profile itself but as a subscriber you can enjoy and make use of the full functionality of the site.

Any other tips?

Yes, be proactive. Don't sit back and wait for your prince(ss) to come; seize the day by upgrading to Premium Membership, add to the Forum, use the chat rooms, and generally get known among the membership. Let your attractive personality shine through the pages of this site.

Starting Out With Online Dating

For anyone who is new to the world of online dating, things could get a little confusing. Online dating differs from real life dating in many ways. One of the key differences is that with online dating, all of the action is done via the internet.

Individuals or groups of people who want to meet other people for social purposes, romantic attachments, or just to make new friends can do so through the means of online dating services.

This is a new, fun, and exciting way to meet people. Almost everyone is getting in on the action when it comes to online dating services. It has been assessed that approximately 1out of 5 Americans participate in an online dating service.

There are numerous online dating services that cater to all types of people. Individuals ranging in: age, interests, and that come from different demographics, and various walks of life.

The numbers of people who are participating in online dating services are on the rise. More than ever young people nowadays are using this method, as their main route to meet people. They see nothing shameful about this way of socializing. Plus, the anonymity that online dating services provide, they also find appealing.

After all, participants of online dating services don't have to meet the individuals they communicate with online in person. Not until they feel they've achieve some level of trust, and comfort with the other person. In the end, a participant always has the choice to meet or not to meet.

The more reliable online dating services are those that require memberships from participants. They have a given set of requirements that must be met before anybody is allowed to participate. This allows the online dating service website to accept or reject aspiring members. Some of these online dating services are not free. They charge a monthly fee for the services they offer.

Subscribers to online dating services are asked to create a profile which contains a picture of the subscriber and other useful information. This is where the subscribers get to post some basic personal information like interests, hobbies, and the description of the type of persons they'd want to connect with. The great thing about this is the subscribers have a chance to express themselves, and show their personality through their profiles. Also, they can specify exactly what they are looking for.

The subscribers are then matched with fellow subscribers who match their descriptions. Afterwards, it is up to the subscribers to pursue the connection with the other subscribers that they've been matched with.

This way of self advertising on an online dating service doesn't differ much from a personal, which basically operates on the same principle. These are the little pop-ups that appear on a lot of websites on the internet. It basically relays basic personal information, interests, quotes, a picture, and contact email of the person who has posted the personal. Any interested party can then contact that person.

The great thing about online dating services is that participants get to choose the persons they're going to communicate with. Plus, they get to read their profiles ahead of time, so they'd pretty much have an idea about what type of a person they are dealing with, before they make contact.

The downside to online dating services is that not everyone tells the truth on their profiles! Some married individuals have been known to lie about their marital status online. This has been an ongoing problem that has plagued the online dating service world since the beginning of its inception.

But a lot of online dating services are now enforcing more stringent rules to crackdown on this problem. Some are even doing background checks to make sure aspiring subscribers don't have a criminal record. This adds to the safety of the members of the online dating community.

The availability of online dating services makes this an appealing option for anyone who is looking to meet new people. Now, with the popularity of online dating services, the interactions people can have are not only limited to their set of friends, acquaintances, and co-workers any more.

It is so easy to partake in an online dating service. Anyone who has access to the internet can do so. Now, with just a simple click of a button any individual can be launched into the new and exciting world of online dating.

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Lawrence Andrews is an ePublisher, software developer, consultant and author of numerous books. Learn more about Online dating, visit his site at http://www.lmamedia.com