Shut up and kiss me

You know the world’s gone barking mad when the best gift suggestions on offer for Valentine’s Day are a pizza made from chocolate and a silver plated engraved Rolo as sweet ways to express your feelings.

Browsing the net for love token suggestions shows just how desperate some stores are at cashing in on that special day.  Take buying a pole-dancing lesson for your loved one for £30 or you can join in for £60.  The last time most of us got our legs that high was going up stairs.

The fact is, he or she should not really need you to say you love them. They should already know.  Worst Valentine’s gifts include a spud and a bag of lentils

That doesn’t mean ignoring Valentine’s Day, but don’t go online and grab an outlandish gift when you could spend the same money on a cosy night in – or out – for two.

Saying ‘I love you’ by spending a great evening together doing what she likes is much better than scouring the internet for some junk present that’ll lie unwanted in a drawer.

The ten worst Valentine's Day gift ideas

(according to one store’s (Buyagift) survey of 1,000 women of various ages)

1. Kitchen bin

2. Screw driver set

3. Washing up gloves

4. Vacuum cleaner

5. Ironing board with an iron

6. Clay pigeon trap

7. Bag of lentils

8. Stolen flowers

9. An IOU

10. Tea towels

No one seems to have asked men about their best or worst Valentine’s gifts, although the same site that carried out the survey for women above says one man commented he once received a potato for Valentine’s Day.

All you really want for Valentine’s Day is your soul mate (but a treat would be nice too!)

For her, anything based around love-shaped sweets could be a no-no unless she's got a strong sentimental streak, so choose something a bit more grown up like a spa day pampering treat.

For him, just because it’s silver-plated or some sort of novelty game doesn’t necessarily cut the mustard, so how about a day driving a Ferrari, or a trial flight in a light aircraft or balloon?

In the end though you both want the same – each other – to make Valentine’s Day extra special, but if you just have to buy something that makes the day complete try one of the many present ideas from Buyagift.co.uk