A little bit of TLC can be tough love

TLC in a relationship – and this stands for trust, love and commitment – are sometimes tough to give if you have suffered hurt in the past but are even tougher when you find your new partner still has an active online dating profile.

After all, you have given yourself body and soul and they can’t even offer a small commitment like making themselves unavailable while they are with you, so what’s the deal?

Well, men and women think differently about TLC.

Don’t fall victim to self-denial

If you are a woman and your guy is still flashing ‘I’m here come and get me’ online, then you need to check out why.

Of course, he’ll say he forgot, but you just know that he’s probably not telling the truth. You’ll try self-denial, telling yourself it doesn’t matter anyway and you can’t believe he’ll do anything to hurt you.

All the time, deep down, you know he’s a loser and you’re wasting your time.

For guys, knowing she’s flirting with other guys and that they find her attractive is a turn on. They know she’s committed them and wouldn’t stray.

The best way to resolve what’s going on if you are not happy is to ask him what’s the deal. After all, he’s either with you or he’s not. If you’re scared to ask, perhaps that denial is kicking in again because you already know the answer is he’s not.

Fun flirting is no harm to a strong relationship

If he really is devoted to you and isn’t looking for an escape route, then suggest he switches off his profile and if he gets a kick out of other guys flirting with you, keep yours on, but with the proviso you make sure he’s about when you sign in to any sites.

Then, if you find his profile is reactivated after that, he needs to have a good explanation at the ready.

In an open and honest relationship, both of you should have the confidence and security in the other to know just how much TLC to give and expect.

If you don’t, perhaps you ought to be looking at whether the relationship really is for you.

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