Are you really ready to start dating again?
The first question to ask yourself before embarking on the quest for a mate is “Am I ready?” Success in finding that special guy depends on the answer being a resounding “Yes!” Take the time needed to do some serious soul searching prior to looking for a man. Be sure that you are over all past relationships so that you can start fresh without danger of old baggage coming between you and your new love interest. Ensuring that you are fully ready to pursue a healthy, adult relationship before jumping back into the dating scene demonstrates a high level of personal integrity and a deep respect for the other person.
Measure your self-confidence
Men who are attracted to timid women are often over-bearing and looking for someone that they can control. To attract an emotionally healthy and mature man, you must have self-confidence. If you find that you are lacking in this area, work to develop your self-esteem before you begin dating. There is no sense wasting valuable time cultivating a relationship if either party has issues that need to be addressed. Becoming confident in yourself will assist in making wise choices once you start dating. Possessing the self-confidence to realistically assess a potential mate and discern whether that person is compatible and appropriate will reduce the potential for future heartache.
Your body sends out signals
Body language speaks louder than words, letting others know lot about a person without even speaking. Evaluate your body language, asking a trusted friend to help, if necessary. What image do you project to others? Are you showing the world that you are a confident and valuable person? Or do you need to work on projecting the image you desire?
There is no substitute for good posture and direct eye contact. Stand tall and look your date in the eye. Demonstrate respect and insist on receiving the same. Be attentive when he’s talking and expect to be treated in kind. Lean forward slightly to more fully engage in the conversation. Do not tolerate rudeness or inappropriate behaviour. Body language is an extremely powerful tool; use it to your best advantage.
Keep your wits (and your humour) about you
When beginning to date, it is very easy to be carried away by emotion. The new love interest often takes on an importance completely out of proportion, overshadowing other areas of one’s life. Do not let this happen! Enjoying the emotional high of a new relationship is fine but guard against being totally swept away.
At the outset of the relationship, keep in mind that this man may be around a very long time. In fact, it’s possible he may be around too long! Keep a healthy perspective in any budding relationship and keep things light. Move slowly, allowing the relationship to blossom naturally. Maintain contact with friends and do things alone, as well. Avoid building your entire life around another person.
Dealing with rejection
Few things in life are more devastating that being dumped. The initial reaction is shock and disbelief, which quickly changes to anger and hurt. When a love relationship ends, try to focus on the big picture and see it as an opportunity for self-improvement and growth. Allow yourself to feel the pain but work to move beyond it to a place of peace and acceptance. Use this time to examine your life and determine what you want to do and be.
Sometimes rejection comes early in a relationship, possibly even on a first date. Do not take this personally. The purpose of dating is to find mutual compatibility. Lack of attraction on the part of either party is no reflection on the value of the other person. Always keep in mind that the closing of one door simply allows for the opening of another.
