How insecurity destroys online relationships

The big question for online daters who are looking for a guy or girl is whether the relationship is based on love or insecurity.

Everyone wants to live happy ever after with a dream partner, but only those genuinely in love are likely to do so.

So ask yourself carefully before you are drawn in to a commitment what your feelings are really saying to you.

The truth is most people don't like living alone and for one reason or another don't get a shot at their partner of choice. That means most people pick their partners from the available 'pool'.

In this case, the other singles registered on the Love Services site.

Not that there is anything wrong with that, and in no way is anyone settling for second best. If anything, someone is more likely to find a partner who is more suited to their desires on a site like this than elsewhere even if the pool of available people is larger.

Love v Insecurity

But what you need to figure out is are you entering a relationship because you have insecurities about growing old alone or is the other person really someone you can love and live with.

If the answer is your fear, then the relationship is unlikely to succeed and do you really want to be that selfish and unfair to someone else by pretending to live a life that is a lie.

Relationships like this are heading down a rocky road from the start and are inevitably doomed to failure because the insecurities will come out and destroy and real feelings that may be there.

If the answer is love, then the relationship is stronger and more likely to last on a basis of mutual support and respect.

Be honest with yourself

So before your relationship becomes more than just some online fun, be honest with yourself and what you are looking for and you should expect the same from your prospective partner.

Keeping up a relationship over long distance online is hard work for both people.

Having a relationship just because you are in the services and are away from home and lonely is letting your other half down. Likewise, getting involved in a relationship online with someone who is so far away that you are unlikely to ever meet is a sign of insecurity

Sooner or later the day will come when one or both of you look at taking the relationship further by establishing some form of commitment.

If you are in an insecure relationship, this is the time to stand up as an adult and be honest to yourself and your partner. If you don't you may live to regret missing the chance.

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