A little bit of TLC can be tough love

TLC in a relationship – and this stands for trust, love and commitment – are sometimes tough to give if you have suffered hurt in the past but are even tougher when you find your new partner still has an active online dating profile.

After all, you have given yourself body and soul and they can’t even offer a small commitment like making themselves unavailable while they are with you, so what’s the deal?

Well, men and women think differently about TLC.

Don’t fall victim to self-denial

If you are a woman and your guy is still flashing ‘I’m here come and get me’ online, then you need to check out why.

Of course, he’ll say he forgot, but you just know that he’s probably not telling the truth. You’ll try self-denial, telling yourself it doesn’t matter anyway and you can’t believe he’ll do anything to hurt you.

All the time, deep down, you know he’s a loser and you’re wasting your time.

For guys, knowing she’s flirting with other guys and that they find her attractive is a turn on. They know she’s committed them and wouldn’t stray.

The best way to resolve what’s going on if you are not happy is to ask him what’s the deal. After all, he’s either with you or he’s not. If you’re scared to ask, perhaps that denial is kicking in again because you already know the answer is he’s not.

Fun flirting is no harm to a strong relationship

If he really is devoted to you and isn’t looking for an escape route, then suggest he switches off his profile and if he gets a kick out of other guys flirting with you, keep yours on, but with the proviso you make sure he’s about when you sign in to any sites.

Then, if you find his profile is reactivated after that, he needs to have a good explanation at the ready.

In an open and honest relationship, both of you should have the confidence and security in the other to know just how much TLC to give and expect.

If you don’t, perhaps you ought to be looking at whether the relationship really is for you.

Rom Com Movies for Valentine’s Day

Settling down to a romantic film comedy on a night out at the cinema is a favourite way to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

To make the point, the latest movie rom com, called Valentine’s Day, is out on February 12 in cinemas up and down the country.

Starring a ton of Hollywood stars, including Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Garner, Shirley MacLaine, Bradley Cooper, Ashton Kutcher, Eric Dane, Jamie Foxx and Queen Latifah, the film looks at the lives of a number of people in Los Angeles and how their lives affect everyone else’s on February 14.

Another deeper romantic story out on film for Valentine’s is Dear John, starring Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried as star-crossed lovers.

It’s one of those boy meets girl stories where the boy loses girl and goes off to find she’s married but they still love each other…all against the backdrop of New York on 9/11.

For those who like an oddball take on romance, Jim Carrey and Euan McGregor team up for I Love You, Phillip Morris about a convict who loves his cell mate so much he keeps breaking out of prison to be with him.

If any of these fail to light the fire of romance, then consider a night on the sofa with a DVD.

For her – well the list is endless, starting with ABBA and finishing with Zoolander

For him – try As Good As It Gets or the hit-and-miss comedy Zack and Miri Make A Porno. Don’t worry it isn’t exactly what it seems!

If you are looking for someone to snuggle with on Valentine’s Day, then a quick look at Love Services members’ profiles for film lovers should do the trick.

Meeting for a drink and a film is an easy way to get to know someone – and there‘s not a lot of difficult talking involved!

Before the movie, you have the movie you plan to see plus your favourite films and stars to chat about, and afterwards, the movie you have just seen.

The Ten Worst Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas

You know the world’s gone barking mad when the best gift suggestions on offer for Valentine’s Day are a pizza made from chocolate and a silver plated engraved Rolo as sweet ways to express your feelings.

Browsing the net for love token suggestions shows just how desperate some stores are at cashing in on that special day.  Take buying a pole-dancing lesson for your loved one for £30 or you can join in for £60.  The last time most of us got our legs that high was going up stairs.

The fact is, he or she should not really need you to say you love them. They should already know.  Worst Valentine’s gifts include a spud and a bag of lentils

That doesn’t mean ignoring Valentine’s Day, but don’t go online and grab an outlandish gift when you could spend the same money on a cosy night in – or out – for two.

Saying ‘I love you’ by spending a great evening together doing what she likes is much better than scouring the internet for some junk present that’ll lie unwanted in a drawer.

The ten worst Valentine's Day gift ideas

(according to one store’s (Buyagift) survey of 1,000 women of various ages)

1. Kitchen bin

2. Screw driver set

3. Washing up gloves

4. Vacuum cleaner

5. Ironing board with an iron

6. Clay pigeon trap

7. Bag of lentils

8. Stolen flowers

9. An IOU

10. Tea towels

No one seems to have asked men about their best or worst Valentine’s gifts, although the same site that carried out the survey for women above says one man commented he once received a potato for Valentine’s Day.

All you really want for Valentine’s Day is your soul mate (but a treat would be nice too!)

For her, anything based around love-shaped sweets could be a no-no unless she's got a strong sentimental streak, so choose something a bit more grown up like a spa day pampering treat.

For him, just because it’s silver-plated or some sort of novelty game doesn’t necessarily cut the mustard, so how about a day driving a Ferrari, or a trial flight in a light aircraft or balloon?

In the end though you both want the same – each other – to make Valentine’s Day extra special, but if you just have to buy something that makes the day complete try one of the many present ideas from Buyagift.co.uk

A New Twist for a First Date

Before planning a first date, always talk to the other party for a little while and ask some key questions like 'What do you like to do for fun?' Listen carefully to what that other person is saying so you can steer your first date into a very successful adventure!

Is your prospective date a daring sports enthusiast? If so, hook up with your local paint ball site by checking on the web and have a great first date aiming to hit the target! While paint ball equipment can be rented for pretty minimal costs, make sure to wear clothes that cover you up from head to toe, because the paint balls can sting if they hit bare skin.

Do you think your prospective sweetie is more of the indoors type? Then check with the local cooking schools and sign up for a class on how to prepare some gorgeous meal together. Cooking always represents a nurturing and caring spirit, and cooking together could help nurture your relationship to new heights!

So what if your prospective date is really adventurous and loves the chills and thrills of things? Then do a little on line research to find out the nearest haunted house. Get a little information on the background of the place, and head out there for a night time of hauntingly good happenings! Some of the well known places have their own “Ghost Buster tours” so make sure you verify what access is available to the public so you can ensure the scariest time of your lives!

If you've caught on that your prospective cutie is more of an art lover, then pick a beautiful local spot, like a botanical garden and head out there with digital cameras on hand. Make a scavenger hunt list for things that have to be found, and help each other discover the beauty in all of the wonders of nature! Right after all the pictures have been snapped, head over to a one hour photo service together to have the prints done in a cute little memory book; it's a way to remember this first date forever!

Always remember there are many exciting and very enjoyable ways to spend your first date, and they all begin with a little extra care in planning which direction to steer the love boat!

Revealed! How much flesh a women should show to attract men

Flashing the flesh is certainly a proven method for women to attract the attention of men – but the question has always been how much and which bits.

After some scientific research by women at a nightclub, the answer can finally be revealed – it’s 40% of your body.

That includes the legs and arms – so for the most part the most attractive look is a shortish skirt and sleeveless top.

For the maths, showing your legs counts as 15% each, 10% for the each arm and 50% for the chest and stomach, according to the study.

Tight clothing and sexy dancing

The magic figures were the result of four researchers from the University of Leeds, observing women on the dance floor at four nightclubs who kept a list of how they were dressed and counted how many times men approached them.

Women who revealed around 40% of their skin attracted twice as many men as those who dressed more modestly.

Those who exposed more than the magic 40% didn't get many offers. Experts suggest this is because men believe that women who expose more of their bodies would not be faithful.

The ladies who attracted most men combined the 40% rule with tight clothing and sexy dancing.  Apparently the 15% of women who fitted all three criteria were rewarded with approaches from 40 men, according to the scientific journal Behaviour.

Doubts of future infidelity

Lead researcher Colin Hendrie said: "Any more than 40% and the signal changes from 'allure' to one indicating general availability and future infidelity. Show some leg, show some arm, but not any more than that."

So for women who are back to dating after a long absence, showing a bit of leg is fine, but don’t go over the top with plunging necklines and bare midriffs as well, otherwise you’ll shatter the 40% rule and find your look is turning off men rather than making you look attractive.

Strangely the research did not say anything about fake suntans – but the nightclubs were probably too dark for the researches to tell!