One day you’re best friends and just kicking back discussing world affairs. The next, you’re fantasizing about his or her lips and you realize that you’re falling in love with your best friend. Oh no! You’re probably confused about this sudden shift in your feelings and wondering what to do next. First of all, most people cite fear over losing their friendship as the main reason for not telling a friend their feelings.
However, look at it in reverse. If your friend were to tell you he was in love with you and you didn’t reciprocate the feelings, would you throw out the baby with the bathwater? Of course not. Instead, you’d do your best to re-assure the friend that you loved them but just not in that way. It might be awkward for a little while, but ultimately, your friendship would continue.
Before you break the news to your friend, you want to lay the ground work before breaking the upcoming news. Do some semi-romantic things for them that you might not have done in the past. For example, invite them over for dinner and do the cooking yourself. Suggest a walk after dinner and talk about more in depth topics like your hopes and dreams for the future. Encourage them to talk about theirs too so that you know if you’re compatible in your desires for the future.
The next step is to let your friend know how you feel about them. No, you don’t want to do it in a casual way or jokingly. They may not get the hint. Take some time when the two of you are alone and in private to tell them how over time your feelings have changed. Tell them you’ve suddenly begun to see them in a different light and could see a romantic future for the two of you, if they might feel the same way.
Then, you need to back off and give your friend some time to digest what you’ve just told them. Don’t push them or make them feel like you need to have an answer immediately. They may never have considered the proposition before and may just need to evaluate their own feelings a bit. Don’t take their silence as a no. Just respect their decision making time.
Regardless of what happens, you have nothing to lose by telling your best friend your feelings and everything to gain.