Just how much does your profile photo say about you?

The answer is a lot more than you think - a picture can say a thousand words and help you make an instant connection with a life partner, so you should choose your profile image wisely.

The experience is common for people meeting through online dating sites – often with the decision of whether someone is liked or disliked made in just a few seconds.

First impressions do count for a lot, according to a new study in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, that claims we can learn a lot about each other’s personality just from appearance alone.

Almost 700 million people have online profiles

A staggering 700 million people worldwide spend time social networking online and most have profiles on several sites with their photographs.

The study found that putting the wrong picture online could give people a completely inaccurate impression about you.

Researchers for the study looked at full body photographs of 123 people that they did not know or had ever seen before. The photos either had the subject in a controlled pose with a neutral facial expression or a natural pose.

The researchers were then asked to rate each person on 10 personality traits by just looking at the photos.

The ratings were combined to work out how well the observers were able to guess the traits.

Even people standing in the controlled pose had their major personality traits accurately predicted, including extroversion, self-esteem, and even how religious they were.

Pick up a partner’s vibe from their photo

For people in a natural pose, the judgments were accurate for nine of the 10 personality traits, like extroversion, agreeability, conscientiousness, emotional stability, openness, likability, self-esteem, loneliness, religion and political orientation.

The message is that however hard you try to be someone you are not, people soon pick up on your real personality and whether they like you or not.

Translating this to your online profile pictures, depending on how the site controls the size of images you can pose, don’t zoom in too close and if possible, show a full body photo.

This gives potential partners a better opportunity to judge your personality rather than flicking on to the next profile. Likewise, before setting on a meeting, ask your friend to send you a full body picture to see what sort of vibe you get.

…And always post a profile picture or you are likely to be ignored, as observers have nothing to make a judgment against.

People You Should Never Date

Revealed! How much flesh a women should show to attract men

Flashing the flesh is certainly a proven method for women to attract the attention of men – but the question has always been how much and which bits.

After some scientific research by women at a nightclub, the answer can finally be revealed – it’s 40% of your body.

That includes the legs and arms – so for the most part the most attractive look is a shortish skirt and sleeveless top.

For the maths, showing your legs counts as 15% each, 10% for the each arm and 50% for the chest and stomach, according to the study.

Tight clothing and sexy dancing

The magic figures were the result of four researchers from the University of Leeds, observing women on the dance floor at four nightclubs who kept a list of how they were dressed and counted how many times men approached them.

Women who revealed around 40% of their skin attracted twice as many men as those who dressed more modestly.

Those who exposed more than the magic 40% didn't get many offers. Experts suggest this is because men believe that women who expose more of their bodies would not be faithful.

The ladies who attracted most men combined the 40% rule with tight clothing and sexy dancing.  Apparently the 15% of women who fitted all three criteria were rewarded with approaches from 40 men, according to the scientific journal Behaviour.

Doubts of future infidelity

Lead researcher Colin Hendrie said: "Any more than 40% and the signal changes from 'allure' to one indicating general availability and future infidelity. Show some leg, show some arm, but not any more than that."

So for women who are back to dating after a long absence, showing a bit of leg is fine, but don’t go over the top with plunging necklines and bare midriffs as well, otherwise you’ll shatter the 40% rule and find your look is turning off men rather than making you look attractive.

Strangely the research did not say anything about fake suntans – but the nightclubs were probably too dark for the researches to tell!

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How insecurity destroys online relationships

The big question for online daters who are looking for a guy or girl is whether the relationship is based on love or insecurity.

Everyone wants to live happy ever after with a dream partner, but only those genuinely in love are likely to do so.

So ask yourself carefully before you are drawn in to a commitment what your feelings are really saying to you.

The truth is most people don't like living alone and for one reason or another don't get a shot at their partner of choice. That means most people pick their partners from the available 'pool'.

In this case, the other singles registered on the Love Services site.

Not that there is anything wrong with that, and in no way is anyone settling for second best. If anything, someone is more likely to find a partner who is more suited to their desires on a site like this than elsewhere even if the pool of available people is larger.

Love v Insecurity

But what you need to figure out is are you entering a relationship because you have insecurities about growing old alone or is the other person really someone you can love and live with.

If the answer is your fear, then the relationship is unlikely to succeed and do you really want to be that selfish and unfair to someone else by pretending to live a life that is a lie.

Relationships like this are heading down a rocky road from the start and are inevitably doomed to failure because the insecurities will come out and destroy and real feelings that may be there.

If the answer is love, then the relationship is stronger and more likely to last on a basis of mutual support and respect.

Be honest with yourself

So before your relationship becomes more than just some online fun, be honest with yourself and what you are looking for and you should expect the same from your prospective partner.

Keeping up a relationship over long distance online is hard work for both people.

Having a relationship just because you are in the services and are away from home and lonely is letting your other half down. Likewise, getting involved in a relationship online with someone who is so far away that you are unlikely to ever meet is a sign of insecurity

Sooner or later the day will come when one or both of you look at taking the relationship further by establishing some form of commitment.

If you are in an insecure relationship, this is the time to stand up as an adult and be honest to yourself and your partner. If you don't you may live to regret missing the chance.

Online dating breaks the rules of attraction

Finding your ideal guy or girl in uniform from an online dating site means all the so-called rules of attraction just don’t work.

Looking for a romance with someone in the services via the internet means you have to work out a new set of rules to define your relationship.

Often, relationships with soldiers, sailors or airmen are long-distance affairs that short cut the way traditional pairings pan out because of constraints of time zones and the fact your other half may be in a war zone.

Face-to-face you can use body language flirts and cues to show your interest, but online these are no good.

For instance, psychologists say we show visual cues to members of the opposite sex we think might make a suitable partner. These cues would be pointing your knee or toes at the person you want to address most in the group.

Then there are the flirty hair stroking, little smiles and sly looks.

If you are chatting online with someone, then you have no way of judging how what you are saying comes over because you have no visual cues.

On the other hand, the internet rids many people of their natural shyness and allows them to say things they might have taken a lot longer to broach face-to-face.

So what can you use as romantic reference points in an online relationship?

• You have got to know who you are talking to, so you need to make sure you contact your friends through a site like Love Services, where we check out profiles and try to make the environment for chat as safe as possible for everyone.

• Don’t send any photographs or personal information to someone you don’t really know – perhaps asking for a video chat to confirm the person at the other end is really who they say they are and matches their profile picture.
• Stick in your comfort zone – don’t let someone at the other end try and force the pace.
• Try not to send signals that can be interpreted in a different way from what you mean – try and be clear about what you say to the person at the other end.
• Remember that visual cues and body language work both ways and ask for reassurance if you are picking up vibes from the other end that seem at odds with what’s being said.

Girls and guys in uniform tend to be good communicators because they are team workers and often need people skills to do their jobs – don’t forget services include the police, nurses and firemen, not just the army, navy and air force.

If you belong to one of the services – civil or military – don’t forget that ordinary people may not understand some of the jargon that you use without thinking on a day-to-day basis.

You may have to show a little patience and explain what you mean a little more than if you were having a chat with a colleague whom knows what you are talking about.

Protect yourself from bogus soldiers trying online scams

Love is a battlefield according to singer Pat Benatar – and if you have a passion for men or women in uniform, make sure you don’t fall victim to a bogus love cheat trying to con you out of cash.

The scam goes like this – a woman usually spots a photo of a guy online that she likes or is contacted by someone from a military dating site.

They talk online for a while and build a relationship and everything seems too good to be true – which means it usually is.

After a while, the guy suggests that you can talk privately to him by satellite telephone – but he explains that due to security, setting up the call involves you in some sort of registration that involves passing personal details.

Stop right there!

If you receive an email or message like this, then the person at the other end is unlikely to be a genuine serviceman is ‘phishing’ for bank or credit details.

The next step is the satellite call involves a cost of around $500 and the bogus guy at the other end makes excuses why he can’t pay because he is posted abroad and asks you to settle the bill and he will pay you back sometime later.

This is why however much you trust someone you should never, ever give your personal banking information out to someone you do not know.

Dating forums are full of similar stories from women who have lost thousands of pounds to this sick swindlers preying on sometimes vulnerable people simply looking for some romance in their lives.

Some have unfortunately paid up for the satellite calls and then the con artists has then asked them to pay for flights so he can come and see them on his next leave.

Watch out for any scammers – especially if the firm ‘Ts2 Satellite Provider’ or the elusive Sgt Jeff Miller, a name often used in the ruse, crop up.

Safety first

Every Love Services profile is manually checked out as far as reasonably possible to protect registered members from this kind of scam.

* Do not send any cash under any circumstances to any other Love Services member

* Contact us straight away with the profile details of the person involved if you feel in anyway the member is bogus

Our intention is to help service people and their friends have a safe and trusting environment to meet online and loveservices will immediately act on any report of a suspected scammer.